the divine feminine - i know
unconditional love is an
immaculate concept
In a recent conversation, on my blog, something obvious was played out.
“Agnost”,
which means “not knowing” showed up and expressed: I Know Not. And
insisted that “not knowing” be considered “knowledge”, in declaring:
Because I Know Not, there Is Not.
“Gnost” which means “to
know” responded by saying: OK…I understand. I understand the reality of
being a ‘Not’head, too. Been there. Done that. But to declare “not
knowing” to be any sort of *knowledge* is to express senselessness…an
authority on “not knowing”, (rolling my eyes).
So I’m now
bringing this page up and posting it…for those of us who also seek “to
know”. And for those of us who seek “to know not”, in deep Respect, I
acknowledge for ‘you’, it Is Not. For the Blind cannot see and the deaf
cannot hear. But also don’t have the license to insist all others live
so sensory deprived.
“Thinking” to me is a process, a
process of reasoning. Reasoning itself is a process, too. It is a
process of adding one idea together with another without forming any
contradictions in the process. This ability to make sense is common to
one and all, that’s why it used to be called “common sense”.
So where does that leave “know-ledge” based on NOT “know-ing”?
Knowing
I asked my son to listen to one of the latest messages of sharing,then asked for his comments.
“It sure sounds complicated Mom. It doesn’t sound simple. `Energy balance’…? Why not come right out and say feeling needy?”
“What
you’re hearing is an expression of distance, Honey. That’s why so much
emphasis is being placed on feeling. Because most of usare generally
distanced as far away from acknowledging our genuine feelings as we can
get. What most of us feel is not coming from our Hearts, but from our
guts. And we deal with these gut level feelings in one of two ways,
I’ve observed.
There’s our pattern of detaching ourselves
from our feelings and escaping into our mentality. It’s where a lot of
our analytical tendencies are coming from. I notice things like
aggression and
anger on the rise and the tones of the popular
music, to see what it is we’re avoiding. What feelings we’re keeping
locked inside, using mental gymnastics and pursuits, as exercises in
distraction. There’s a lot of concentration on virtual reality going on
and very little concentration on improving coping skills.”
“That’s why you are the way you are about video games aren’t you Mom?”
“Yes,
to a point. I didn’t tell you I wouldn’t allow video games. I would
just make you unplugged from them every so often when your social
skills started suffering. You’re my math and engineering child.
Abstract concepts come easy for you.
As your Mother, my goal
was well balanced. When you showed signs of impatience and were quick
to anger at your sister’s annoyance, I would tell you to unplug for a
week and read a book. Reading the book activated the other side of your
brain, your imagination. You get too right brained, I direct you to the
left. Just like when Angela gets too left, I direct her to the right.
The goal is balanced. Well balanced.
This running away from
our emotions into our mentality is like hiding the dirty litter box
behind a door. We don’t have to acknowledge it’s full but, the smell
still permeates everything.
We’re not facing our emotions but the emotions are still very much present.
The
other pattern we use is one of simply indulging ourselves in our
feelings, never mind knowing what those feelings are and why we’re
feeling them. Emotional self indulgence.
If we didn’t
indulge ourselves in emotions below the waistline, then chances are, we
wouldn’t have so many issues with how far those waistlines are
expanding. Maybe if we called them wastelines, then it would become
clear what so many of us keep doing to ourselves.
Emotions
and feelings from our gut level are not Loving emotions. And it’s these
emotions that we keep feeding ourselves. Emotions that are not Loving,
nor nurturing. The more we nurture these denser emotions, the more we
feel them. The more we feel them, the more we feel we need nurturing.
It is a cycle of neediness. And one of the rules of the game is that
there never will be enough.”
“Enough of what?”
“Enough of whatever. It doesn’t matter. It can’t be enough, for if it ever was, then we wouldn’t find ourselves in need.
Reminds me of the new Lime Coke. Have you had one?”
“Yes. I know what it does.”
“Yeah,
the lime is an aftertaste. You drink more Coke to kill the aftertaste
and end up with more of an aftertaste. You can drink the whole bottle
and still end up thirsty for something to kill the
aftertaste. Perfect treat for Halloween, a drink that leaves you thirsty after drinking it.
Of
the two patterns, the emotionally indulgent one is the most draining.
It usually just goes on and on and on, one guilt trip after another.
Which is one of the main reasons why so many of us
use the other pattern. To make ourselves immune to those of us using this one.
You
and Angela are good examples of the patterns. Male/female. One lives in
denial of emotions and the other wallows in it. You’ve just got a
vulture of a Mom that won’t tolerate the use of either unhealthy
pattern in my house.”
“Why? Isn’t that being kind of controlling, Mom?”
“If
I don’t teach you what Respect IS, then you won’t know how to be
Respectful to others. Neither of the emotional patterns I mentioned are
Respectful of others. And yes, you may just chalk it up to being a
Condition. If I’m not being treated with Respect in my own home, you’re
going to hear about it. Chances are, so will the neighbors.”
“How is it Disrespectful?”
“Because
neither pattern Respects our emotions as our emotions. One pattern
detaches in order to avoid claiming them. The other simply blames every
emotion experienced, on someone or something
else.
The one thing that would help both, is the one thing that both avoid.”
“What’s that?”
“Sovereignty.
Respecting and Honoring our emotions as our emotions. Then and only
then, are we empowered to start governing them. Choose to feed
ourselves emotions that are Loving and nurturing instead of those that
aren’t.
Your textbook for that college Health class you took
called it being Self Nurturing and listed it as one of the requirements
for being considered mentally and emotionally healthy. Research studies
have found the link between wellness and being self nurturing in our
attitudes.
The neediness, the draining of resources,
physical resources, mental resources and emotional resources, in order
to maintain the feeding cycle.., that’s what was meant by `energy
balancing`.”
“Everybody in need and fighting over pieces of
a pie, instead of claming Sovereignty, being self nurturing and
increasing the size of the pie?”
“You got it. Start balancing the energy. Make pie bigger. Instead of fighting over pieces.”
“What’s this word mean?”
“Which one?”
“Gnost. What’s that all about?”
“It’s a term that’s been used before historically. `Gnost’ means `knowing’.”
“Well, why didn’t they just say that?”
“You’d have to ask them. Maybe they didn’t `know’?”
“That’s funny Mom.”
“I
didn’t mean it to be funny but yes, I see the humor in the situation.
Been there. Done that. `We shall see, said the blind man’. Same thing.
Jason,
I know the word, because I know some Greek and I studied the esoteric
texts. `Gnost’ and `agnost’. `To know’ and `to know not’. Both come
from the root word gnosis, which means Knowledge, but this knowledge
isn’t the head kind. This Knowledge is an inner Knowing. Ancients
Greeks used to call it an Intuitive Knowing. It’s the Knowing
that comes from our Hearts. Gnost is when Understanding sinks in.
We
Understand because we Know. I taught you to be Heart centered. To
believe in what you Know and not dishonor it in favor of what someone
else said they thought they knew. I’ve hammered Sovereignty into your
head like a drill sergeant since you were little Hon. It’s part of what
makes you `different’.”
“Thanks Mom.”
“I didn’t miss the sarcasm.”
“It did make it difficult when it came to relating to kids my age.”
“I
know it did. I went through it, too. It’s getting better isn’t it? Now
that you’re in college and around others that are focused in self
development?”
“Yes, yes it is.”
“Well, it’s going
to get easier, too. For a lot of us. We’re going to have more company
on the play ground real soon. I don’t know how big the wave is, but
there is a massive wave of people that just expanded to the level of
claiming their Sovereignty. A great many of us have recently chosen to
reconnect and start opening our Hearts. Now the healing can genuinely
begin.
The grounding and anchoring is going on just like I suspected. This is cause for celebration. We`re gonna’ have company.”
“I don’t understand Mom.”
“In
old literature, what’s going on used to be called ‘precipitation’. We
Love an idea first in our Mind. This mental Love is called Admiration.
If we admire it long enough and often enough and strong enough, then
one day we’ll have become comfortable enough with the idea to open our
Hearts and, it will start grounding and anchoring. We’ll start
digesting it. We will come to know the feeling the idea represents.
Genuine Understanding will literally sink in. Once it is anchored and
grounded in our Hearts, then we become able to live it. Expressing it
in our daily
activities and responses to Life.
Grounding
Gnost is like digesting one of those 72 ounce Texas steaks. We can only
do it one bite at a time and digest each bite, allowing ourselves time
to absorb it, otherwise, we’ll get sick.
What makes it even more
of a challenge, is that most of us are anorexic or bulimic when it
comes to Gnost. It’s hard for us to swallow, much less digest.
Just
simply the word being used threw me for a loop. What threw me was the
context. It took me back almost 18 years. `Gnost`, meaning `to know’
from the Greek word gnosis, meaning Knowledge, Intuitive Knowing.”
“That would have helped.”
“They
didn’t Know, Honey. It is this Knowing that many are now opening up to
Dear. It’s the Knowing that is now in the process of precipitating.
It’s comparable to the event of bringing down the Berlin Wall but
happening on a much more profound level. There is great excitement and
a sense of celebration as the wall tumbles.
The next thing
that will happen is a realization of how much healing work there is to
be done. Like the realization of how horrid the conditions were in East
Germany and how much work and effort it was going to take to bring East
Germany up to the standards enjoyed by West Germany.”
“Celebrate today for tomorrow reality is going to sink in.”
“Basically.
Using the word Gnost is really insightful. For the subject is
Empowerment and claiming our Sovereignty. Being True to what we Know in
our Hearts. Being True to Gnost. Cease choosing Self denial and Self
betrayal. And the world will quit mirroring that betrayal. Honor
thyself. Respect thyself. Love thyself.”
“Mom, why is the pattern of self denial and self betrayal so widespread?”
“It’s
what we’ve all been taught. Monkey see, monkey do. The pattern of
denial and betrayal was formally decreed to be the `Christian’ moral
standard at the Council of Nicea in 325 AD.”
“The Council of Nicea?”
“Yes,
the Council of Nicea. Nicea is a town in Turkey. Roman Emperor
Constantine I convened a council there in 325 AD. The invitation list
was very exclusive. Only Agnostics were invited to attend and
contribute.”
“Agnostics?”
“Yes. Agnostics. Agnost
means `to know not’. The New Testament is basically set against an
agnostic background of worshipping Ignorance. Make `not knowing’ a
moral goal and make knowing taboo. That’s what was done.
It
was at this council that certain self proclaimed religious authorities
of the time decided the contents of the `New Testament’. Since only
Agnostics attended, only agnostic interpretations and perspectives were
declared as valid and True, while any and all Gnostic perspectives and
interpretations were declared heresy. To speak or write of them meant a
death sentence.
Reference to this is in your movie King Arthur.”
“Where?”
“Arthur’s
mentor, Pelagius. It is mentioned in the movie that he was executed for
his beliefs. Because according to his beliefs, others didn’t look so
holy. Pelagius was a Gnostic. His death
sentence was due to the
overriding perspective of The Church at the time. It was Agnostic. The
Church didn’t like the Gnostic perspective.”
“Why?”
“Because
in accordance with the Gnostic perspective, religion is a personal
experience of individual consciousness. A deeply and profoundly
personal experience of communing with the Knowing in our Hearts.
For
all the other little petty disagreements that were decided and
presumably set in stone at that council, the negation of the Gnostic
perspective wasn’t even argued by those in attendance. Of course
Gnostics needed to be wiped out. Individual spiritual experiences would
nullify the hierarchy and authority of The Church.
Here’s the real kicker, though…
It
was also decreed that it be accepted on Blind Faith that those who
selected the books included and labeled as the New Testament, were
Divinely inspired.”
“Inspired by what?”
“By `not
knowing’ obviously. (ROFL) But anyone who questioned the sense in
accepting `not knowing’ as `knowledge’ throughout the ages, was
summarily executed.
There you have it. That’s how we all got
programmed in Denial and Betrayal. Because it meant a death sentence
not to be for many ages.”
“But Mom, it doesn’t make any sense.”
“What doesn’t make any sense?”
“To claim to be an authority on ‘not knowing’. How could you know?”
“Does sound kind of dumb doesn’t it? It gets even worse in terms of
sense, really.”
“How?”
“We’re
suppose accept this authority as having unknown powers for determining
the unknowable. We’re not suppose to question the sense or the
authority. And simply questioning is proof of wanting to know, wanting
to understand. We’re not suppose to want `to know`. It’s `wrong’
to want to know. Obedience is `good’. Understanding is `bad’.
I’ll show you how ingrained the pattern of `not suppose to want to understand’ is.”
“How?”
“Have you ever seen one of your friends getting into trouble for asking their parents or some other authority figure `why’?”
“Yeah!”
“Well…there it is. A simple expression of seeking to understand perceived as a threat to ‘authority’.”
“You never acted that way, Mom.”
“No,
I didn’t. I knew better. I didn’t want compliance. What good would that
do? You’d end up being a co-dependent that needs others to think and
make decisions for them. I don’t want to have to carry you all my life.
9 months was enough. Nor do I want to fight with some other female as
to who’s going to make your decisions for you. No thanks. I suppose I
could have raised you immersed in The Church’s teachings and dogma in
order to control your choices. Then I could have used guilt to whip you
with, for the rest of your life.”
“Guilt over what?”
“Oh
I don’t know. I could have made up something, like trying to make you
feel guilty for kicking me all those times when I was pregnant with
you. It doesn’t matter what the guilt is over once
we’ve already been programmed to respond to guilt. But I didn’t do that either.
I
knew your path, your Life’s Joy depends on listening to your own heart
and basing your choices on what your own Heart reveals to you. It’s our
Hearts that tell us our Passion. It’s our Hearts that tell us our Joys.
It’s our Heart that Loves.
I desired your Understanding. I
wanted you to know how to understand things yourself, for yourself. The
more you questioned, the more you expressed your desire to know. I
supported and nurtured that to the best of my ability. I taught you to
question, seeking Understanding. I didn’t want you to believe in the
unknowable, just the unknown.”
“I didn’t realize the worship of Ignorance was so widespread.”
“Believe me, we don’t know what we’re doing when it comes to what we choose to believe.
The
taboo against Knowing is really strong. So most of us don’t question.
Being caught questioning and not just simply believing, is like being
labeled a religious criminal of some kind. Fear of
the
consequences is an overriding factor of many. Why, I’ve even had a
‘Shaman’ quite earnestly warn me of the dire consequences of Knowing in
these days and times.”
“Why is the fear so strong?”
“Most
likely has something to do with all the persecutions and
exterminations. The Cathars, The Knights Templar, The Freemasons, The
Rosicrucian’s, The Ascended Master Teaching Foundation, The Illuminati,
were and are essentially Gnostic groups.”
“Secret societies?”
“You
bet. But not for subversive reasons. Secret as in, we will be executed
if anyone finds out we even know about these alternate perspectives.
The word ‘occult’ means that which is hidden. When ‘not knowing’ became
the way of the World, ‘knowing’ had to go underground, in order to
avoid being noticed.”
“All those names you mentioned, they`re familiar but I don’t know
why.”
“Most
likely because you’ve seen the names before. Lots of time. Every time
we moved my library. The Esoteric teachings of all those society’s are
what’s in all those books.”
“I don’t have to read all of them do I”?
“Heaven’s no. Not unless you particularly want to. Maybe you’d like to check my resources?’
“No way.”
“Then
simply leave it at knowing there is ample reference material at hand,
should you ever be interested or curious. I think the material is
outdated myself. We are Living Beings and expand in our Understanding
all the time. You told me the information I sought.”
“It sure will be more fun on the playground with more kids to play with, huh, Mom?”
“Yes, Dear. It will be nice to have company.”
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the divine feminine - 