I was visiting with a friend of mine last night. He is a Fisherman, just back from fishing in the Bering Sea. Yes, he’s one of the men that fish the boats in the TV show “The Dangerous Catch”. Anyone who has experience fishing there, can easily find a job here.

He was discussing “tendering”, which is the job of baiting. When it comes to crab fishing, huge pots are baited and thrown overboard. You always get the job of tendering before fishing. He said he had spent the past few weeks “tendering” on a fishing boat here, which was getting ready to head out fishing for cod. It’s another kind of fishing and as he was saying, if he wanted to be any kind of Fisherman, then he needed to learn the different kinds of fishing. But he was tired of “tendering”.

So I spoke up…

“Do you mean that in order to be a Master Fisherman you need to be a Master Baiter first?”

of George Carlin…

Shit. Piss. Fuck. Cunt. Cocksucker. Motherfucker. Tits.

And screw *u* if you don’t know how to cope with the words being said.

Offense can only be taken.

Who would have ever imagined…

that the human race would end in a dead heat.

A man rushes down the street yelling “I’m a teepee, I’m a wigwam!”

A woman next to me asks, “Is he crazy?”

“No”, I said, “He’s two tents.”

My sister in law came over this evening, bringing me a paper mache apple the size of a basketball, telling me something about an apple keeping the Doctors away so wanting me to have a big one.  I also got a balloon.  I like balloons.  She left, leaving me with this joke.  Now before anyone makes any judgments… it is just a joke. 

My sister in law is a real person.   She is, just as she says she is.  She makes no pretenses aand gives no apologies.  So, of course, you know we admire each other truly.  She is also a devout Pentecostal and lives in total Integrity with her belief.  She shared this bit of laughter with me, so I, in turn, share it with ‘you’, too.

What do you call an atheist dyslexic with insomnia? 

Someone who stays up all night looking to find dog.