I read a meditation the other day that turned my blood cold. I knew at the time the author had no understanding of what they were encouraging, otherwise, they wouldn’t have been doing it. Their heart was genuine and their intention pure.
It began with a visualization of imagining the bonds we have with our families, then imagining extending those bonds to include everyone else in the World. “Better not try this with me,” I thought. “ It has all the attraction of diving into a pool of piranhas. No thank you.”
I thought this, because quite frankly, I don’t find the attitude of being made into fodder for other people, to be a very Respectful, much less a Loving perspective of the Value of my Life.
For get it.
Any family that believes it ‘OK’ for any member of it, to ‘sacrifice’ their life, their pleasures, their joys and their dreams, for the sake of other members, isn’t any kind of family I care to be considered a part of.
For get it.
Let’s have the Courage of Heart to be Honest. Most of Us were raised in totally dysfunctional families. And if we think our family doesn’t fall under this category, then we’re lying to ourselves. Think the attachments we have with our family’s are bonds of Love? Well, think again.Think about how many people in our families we’d even be friends with, if we weren’t related. That’s how many family members we have bonds of ‘love’ with.
The rest, are ties that try to bind, out of guilt and obligation. They are ‘karmic’ bonds. If we could all see these karmic bonds, we could see they are ugly in the extreme. Green-black in color, slimy, oozy and putrid. They are bonds of our slavery, that all of us who worship ‘need’ are required to accept as proof of our piety.
The very last thing I’d seek to do, is create the same ties and bonds with the rest of the World, as I experienced growing up with those who have called themselves my ‘family’. I only consider ‘family’ those I relate to on a heart level. The very last thing I respond to, are calls of ‘obligation’. For I’m not ‘obligated’ to share my self with anyone.
If people act repulsive, there’s nothing ‘wrong’ with being repulsed. It’s a simple action of cause and effect. Negative means to negate, to repulse. Repulse what? Repulse Love. Why do we imagine negative people are always crying out they need attention? Because the water of Life cannot flow through pipes that are clogged. What a lot of our ‘families’ teach, is to override this natural law, deny ourselves and live without Integrity of being, because of the use of guilt and ideas of servitude to the group.
To transcend ‘karma’, means to dissolve it, not feed it. I’ve happened to notice how many parents whine about not being remembered by their children, blaming their children. Well…not being remembered is the natural result of choosing to be an unmemorable person. It’s not our kids fault if we’re not the kind of parent that’s worth remembering. If we haven’t been Lovable, then we have no claims to being loved, for one, is the result of the other. Being an emotionally insecure and needy parent, is not the same as being a Loving one. Just as raising an emotionally needy child, is not the same as raising a Loving child.
That’s why I am recommending this ‘idea’. IMAGINE yourself floating in the air. Now imagine you can see all the cords indicating all the relationships you have in your life. Have the Courage to ‘see’ them as they are. They are cords of fear. Cords of doubt. Cords of need. They are ties whose purpose is to bind. To limit. They appear greenish black, sometimes going towards having a grey cast to them, too. They’re also slimy, like ooze and, foul smelling.
Now IMAGINE a sword of Blue, symbolizing the Essence and Power of Faith and, cut all the karmic bonds attached to you. IMMEDIATELY in their place, IMAGINE cords of Love, cords of Light, extending out from you to them, instead. Those who genuinely and willingly choose to have a relationship with you based on mutual respect and loving cooperation will continue to be a part of your life, while those who are only comfortable with bonds of neediness, will depart from it.
But first, within 24-48 hours of doing this in your imagination, you will hear from everyone in your life that has had one of these ‘karmic bonds of neediness’ with you. They will have felt the tie that binds you to them severed, but know not, nor understand not, what they have sensed. They will simply seek contact with you, for the purpose of energetically re-establishing the karmic bond.
Be Aware and Be Compassionate. But also be Empowered. It Truly isn’t Loving to keep each other in bondage. Nor does enabling our emotional dependency patterns do anything towards promoting the development of any kind of Spiritual growth. Stepping into a Life where the people in it, are in it because they truly and Genuinely love Us, because we’re us, is simply a dream a lot of us have never allowed ourselves to dream.
Be wary of any and all relationships where people in it, feed off of each other. Any use of force, whether physically applied, mentally applied through the use of intellectual intimidation or emotionally applied through the use of guilt and blame, are all symptoms of this type of relating.
These are relationships of need, of emotional dependency, where each person in the relationship, has subconsciously agreed to enable the dependency patterns and emotional addictions of the other(s). Each has agreed, subconsciously, to strive to keep the other(s) as emotionally and mentally needy as we possibly can, as well as, work at maintaining each others false pride and delusions of power, value and worth.
“You support my reality and I’ll support yours”, is only a valid reason for a relationship, among those of us whose reality needs to be supported by others.
Like sticks in a teepee. You support me and I’ll support you. Since mutual support is what holds up the teepee, on behalf of that teepee and in the name of that teepee, every stick is controlled. Every stick has to agree to ‘follow the rules’, what ever rules they may be. One move ‘out of line’ by any stick, upsets the whole bunch leaning on them. And most of us grew up in teepee families.
One thing I’ve noticed about teepees, is that they don’t have any elevators.
What do I mean by ‘elevators’? What do I mean about teepees?
What hat did I pop this rabbit out of?
Well…what I’m attempting to convey is that we all have elevators, that are free to move to any level of our being. Our elevator is our focus. Where we view our life from. Our perspective.
If we have a physical body, then our building has a ground floor. If we have emotions and thoughts, then we have a mezzanine or an astral body. When we’re living life as a stick, our elevators are only transversing the ground floor, the mezzanine and, the basement. These are the only levels we can access. Because in order for our elevator to access the higher floors, the higher levels, the more expanded levels of our being, we have to be able to stand on our own.
I can say it pictorially through the capital letter “I”. Notice it looks like a pillar? Notice that it stands on its own? “I”t stands in Integrity: As Above, So Below.
A lot of us don’t even recognize that we have an elevator, much less know that there are other levels of being. We live from our personality level, totally detached, disconnected and maybe even in denial of, our other levels. That’s what I mean by saying “our elevators aren’t going all the way to the top”. It’s the same as if I said some of us are houses but nobody’s home.
I can convey this pictorially through the lower case letter “i”. This is us, we’re the stick and our Soul, our Spirit, is something we imagine to be separate from us, floating around somewhere, usually above us. A little “i” sounds like an “I” but, isn’t. It’s a stick and a dot.
Stick and a dot, stick and a dot
Being separate, a big I we’re not.
Most of us were raised to be little i’s. We came from ‘families’ of little i’s. We relate as a little i to other little i’s.
But this kind of pattern is not at all attractive to big I’s.
So you see, why I share to imagine some other basis besides need and bondage to serving it and guilt, as the foundation of the way we chose to imagine relating to one another. I’m an “I”. I put quite a deal of time and energy into growing up, into building a bridge to connect my dot.
I don’t encourage nor support, leaning. The World is a big place with a lot of us in it. In order to uplift us, ALL of us, we have to at least be able to lift our own weight.
It’s going to take us cooperating together from stable bases of power, in order for us to provide the perspective of and the fuel for, our elevation.
CordieB
michael j contos
Liara Covert
Mark
Sue Ann Edwards
October 3rd, 2007 - 3:40 pm
Nice one, Sue Ann. I love your alternative meditation with the karmic bonds being swept away. I take your point about my meditation, though it was our spirit selves rather than our egoic selves I was meaning for us to connect. After all, if we’re *all* connected then how can it be otherwise? There isn’t any ‘them’ any more. As it happens, I *do* know a few people who seem to have perfectly nice, healthy relationships with their families. Even so, maybe I’ll tweak things a bit and leave that charged word ‘family’ out next time…
This ties in with the other comment I just left about finding it easier to imagine ‘bad’ things. I can imagine your green oozy karmic ties much more clearly than I can my gossamer threads or your cords of light. I have a very clear picture of the shade of green…
October 3rd, 2007 - 3:59 pm
{{Simon}}
We’re in a state of transition right now. We’re all shifting. And it’s all being done according to our own choices.
There will be some of us brave souls, that choose to experience the suffering and misery of density for as long as possible, for intensity is both their joy and pleasure, reagardless of whether that intensity is ‘positive’ or ‘negative’.
Since like you say, we ARE all connected anyway, we aren’t ‘obligated’ by any physical or biological limits on what we consider ‘family’. So we don’t have to feel obligated to spend any time with people we really don’t have any common resonance with. Like you surmised, Spiritual Families operate according to a different code then egoic ones.
Sometimes we can Love people best, by staying out of their lives and allowing them to live their lives, THEIR way. If my Brother chooses to be a coke addict, then I don’t try to stop him or say anything about his choices. I LOVE & RESPECT him that much. But since I also LOVE & RESPECT myself, I don’t want my life to be associated with what he’s got going on in his.
Now many may try to protest, that if I ‘loved’ my brother I would try to stop him from his choices. However, this would not be Love, itwould be FEAR. Fear about my brother’s life. Fear for his life. Notice the focus on FEAR of what may happen to my brother? Well, I LOVE and BELIEVE in the Divinity within my Brother, as I LOVE and KNOW the Divinity within myself. I do not bow to fear, crowing about how much of a loving person I am for doing it. Love of others and fear for others are 2 different things.
And I reserve comment about ‘nice healthy relationships with their families’, for when I have opportunity to assess it myself. Lots of our relationships can APPEAR that way, especially if everyone in the relationship is an emotional dependent and devoted to staying that way. UNhealthy is relating nicely and in harmony with UNhealthy, in those cases.
October 3rd, 2007 - 4:00 pm
Very interesting. You give me much to think about. Thank you, C
October 3rd, 2007 - 10:49 pm
{{curiousc}}
I have the Courage some may say, to share a perspective that is quite different then most of us have heard. I do not really recognize this ‘courage’ myself. You could say it’s one of my own self recognition issues.
I’m sharing, enjoying creative self expression. I never ask for anyone to believe me. Far from it. I direct us inwards, to consult what our own hearts have to tell us.
This is where it sometimes gets sticky. For most of us identify our gut felt emotions, with our heart, thus confusing a lot of our issues. All of our dense emotions are gut centered and that’s why I keep repeating ‘to our own HEARTS be true’.
Please feel welcome here.
{hugs}
October 3rd, 2007 - 11:02 pm
Simon, I’ve got a tale to tell.
Pretend you can see that one of your friends has a bucket of manure hanging over their head that is about to fall upon them. You warn them, ‘There’s a bucket of manure that’s about to come crashing down upon you!’ But they simply say you’re a crazy old fool with failing eyesight. Delusional and suffering from hallucinations of dementia, too.
Now what are you going to do?
If you argue, then you’re guilty of using force to try to dominate the other person’s reality. Forcing your version over theirs. And they’re not going to like it, nor feel appreciative of it, nor have any liking or appreciation for you, either.
The wisest choice you can make, is to withdraw. Put a distance between you and that bucket of manure, so when it does fall, you won’t be splattered all over with the contents, too. You can then to come to your friend’s aid, with a soapy washcloth and a warm bucket of clean water.
Your friend will then most likey curse themselves for being a fool and not listening and, be very appreciative of having a friend like you, that did not hold their decisions against them and, did not abandon them in their time of need.
October 4th, 2007 - 12:19 am
You’re right, our addiction to negativity is one of those challenging habits to free ourselves of. One of my friends told me one time about a negative fantasy she had, had. She recognized it for what it was, that’s why she was talking about it.
her fantasy was that she would finally meet her dream man face to face, as his face disappeared under her front driver’s side tire.
I gave it some thought. My intuition tells me the terms “love” & “light” have been used expressing so many airy fairy sentiments, not grounded in sense and practicality, that they’ve become cliches.
How ’bout bonds of:
glory? splendor? majesty? granduer? magnificence? exhaltation? brilliance? and triumph?
Color me beautiful.
October 4th, 2007 - 7:42 am
Sue Ann, I have only had to read this three times before beginning to understand it
, but I want to read it more when I can give it more focus. I am away for a little time but I think again to print this to take with me, but I am wondering would imagining things in the air around us, with these cords work the same? and eventhough I love tents, I understand too what you say about pillars:) I don’t think my little i is all the way connected yet, but I do wish it to be.
October 4th, 2007 - 8:50 am
By all means {{Tumel}}, use your IMAGINATION. I like how you’ve already expanding on what I shared! Go for it!
Thank you for your patience with me, for I really am trying…
ALL of Us in the World have been taught a pattern of thought that we’re currently moving out of. This pattern of thought is just that, a pattern. And the one we’ve been taught is a contradictory one. There are contradictions and conflicts all over the place in how we think and what we think.
This pattern of conflict has been called “polarity” and “duality”. Ideas of “seperation” are the very foundation of this pattern. For I have to seperate something into pieces in order to create pieces. And I have to have pieces in order to create conflict.
‘Where’ my mind is at, I see no pieces. I see Unity and Perfection. And it’s not like I’m seeing it in some far off and distant place. I’m seeing it in everything in Life, in every ‘here’ and ‘now’ that happens to us, Worldwide. I see no seperation in Reality. But I remember when I did.
So I write, endeavoring to share the understanding of the Unity of things, in terms usually associated in conflict.
What I share usually makes sense.
It doesn’t take any intelligence to make sense. All it takes is the ability to add one idea to another without creating a contradiction in the process. As simple as 1 + 1 = 2.
But the thinking pattern the World has taught us, is a pattern where nothing makes any sense, 1 – 1 = 0.
And that’s why what I write is confusing sometimes. If people are compassionate and patient with me, as I endeavor to sort of, learn how to translate the one pattern into another, I’ll eventually come up with something.
Smiling.
October 5th, 2007 - 2:28 pm
Hi Sue Ann – I appreciate what you share here! Of course we are all grappling with the inadequate medium of words and here there is the added complexity of trying to bridge two separate worldviews. It is great that we communicate as well as we do!
You have made me think a bit more about that ‘meditation’ of mine. Even if we realize that it no longer serves either us or them see another family member, I think that love – or some variant thereof – remains. This is because of our shared history, biology or whatever. That is the tie I was trying to describe with the gossamer threads. And the reason they were so thin and light is that they do *not* have the power to bind. This tie that remains is the tie of spirit, and what I was trying to share with people is that we have this tie not just with those we think of as close to us but with everyone – and every thing – in creation. We are all One.
I share this not to argue with you, you understand, but to try to clarify what I meant – at least to myself. (And it is nice to discover what I *did* mean!)
I love your i and I metaphor, by the way! (Shades of Rastafarianism…)
October 5th, 2007 - 2:36 pm
Oh, and thanks for the adjectives!
October 8th, 2007 - 1:33 pm
I have to extend a HUGE amount of gratitude towards you for this post. I’ll admit, I didn’t even finish reading it before it grabbed hold and wouldn’t let go, screaming at me to pay attention.
I have had some major issues with the bonds of family but could never really explain the whys and hows to be able to make the change I knew needed to be made. Reading this made everything clear and has allowed me to take the step towards that change.
THANK YOU for sharing your beauty with the world!
October 9th, 2007 - 1:48 pm
{{foxchild}}
WELCOME!
Thank you, thank you, thank you. Some circles paint me with horns and a tail, so you sharing you see my ‘beauty’ comes like a breeze of fresh air for me.
Bless you so.
This post continues with more ‘nitty gritty’ in my next one ‘an attachment’, going further into the subject of draining people’s lives.
It just isn’t Loving, even tho that’s what it is called.
November 2nd, 2009 - 2:27 pm
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