- Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
- The journey of 1000 miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
- It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.
- Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
- Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.
- Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
- If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
- Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
- If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving is not for you.
- Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
- If you lend someone $20.00 and you never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
- Some days you’re the bug; some days you’re the windshield.
- If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
- Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
- The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back into your pocket.
- A closed mouth gathers no foot.
- Duct tape is like “The Force”. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
- There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither of them works.
- Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving.
- Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
- Never miss a good chance to shut up.
- Never, under any circumstance, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Filed under: God, Uncategorized, consciousness, enlightenment, meta physics, new paradigm, philosophy, spirituality Comments (7)
Article tags: hera-kles.com, humor
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CordieB
michael j contos
Liara Covert
Mark
Sue Ann Edwards
July 26th, 2007 - 5:00 pm
why is it the one that rang most true was: sometimes you’re the bug, sometimes you’re the windshield?
July 26th, 2007 - 7:10 pm
I’ve always liked these witticisms.
#12. I’ve also heard it as “Sometimes you’re the pigeon, sometimes you’re the statue.” Sigh. Ain’t it the truth!
July 26th, 2007 - 7:55 pm
I like No.3 and No.8.
They are for Masters only.
July 27th, 2007 - 6:41 am
LOL I love to see what struck home for everyone. The one that got me going was No. 11:
“Never miss a good chance to shut up.”
LOL I’m still giggling (and will ponder THIS wisdome carefully!)
July 27th, 2007 - 8:12 am
((SE))
((motherwintermoon))
((tanaka))
((Grace))
BIG Smiles all around!
It’s healthy to laugh with ourselves!
I think if I asked my family, they’d point to #1 for me. There are days when I need some ‘space’ for just ‘me’. And those days I have all the social skills of a bear.
p.s. As I craned myself in different directions working on the electrical system of our lawn tractor today, I thought of this:
A bug has a lot of guts!
And I’d rather soar like a pigeon, the be a walking eagle.
Walking eagle?!
Yes, walking eagle. He’s so full of it he can’t fly.
July 28th, 2007 - 5:28 am
Sue Ann,
Walking Eagle, something like a name of an American Indian’s chief or did he exist really?.
Anyway it fits you very well,I think.
Humor is the key of Life, especially for me.
Lately I found the wonderful video, which shows the beautiful friendship,full of humor.
Stevie Wonder and Michael Sembello , they are two of my idols for years.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=caG_t_sVbwE
August 7th, 2007 - 9:16 am
I’ve been working at and on our country home over the past few days, so I didn’t get a chance to comment….yet. I shared what you said with my family, about me being a walking eagle.
They laughed. My daughter spoke up: ‘Well that explains the brown eyes.’ My husband followed with: ‘I haven’t seen her fly lately, either.’
OK, I’ll be a walking eagle. Too full of shit to fly.
rofl